This is how I discovered the importance of self care and a healthier lifestyle.
For a time, I went about my days with anger and frustration simmering just below the surface.
I tried to push through and dismiss my feelings, but too often they spilled over and landed on the people I cared about most.
The move to a new state that we’d made just a few months prior felt like it had been the wrong decision. My son’s new school wasn’t the right fit. And my passion for my nearly decade-old business had disappeared. I felt unfulfilled, anxious, and sad. Nothing met my expectations.
Nothing felt like it fit.
Then the figurative wheels fell off the Amy Cruiser, and I crashed emotionally. Suddenly though, I realized that I DID know what fit. The people that I loved so much, they still fit. The God that I always had believed in and tried to follow still fit, although he’d been having some trouble getting my attention.
Was this him getting my attention now?
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this by myself.
As a young mom, I had not been caring well for my body and mind. Self care was not something on my radar.
I slept too little, choosing to stay up late and having to get up early. I didn’t exercise, and I gave scant attention to the food that fueled my body. As I lost my grip on the only aspects of life that I truly could control – myself and my actions – I had started trying to control everything else.
Trying to hold it all together prevented true connection, including with God. Somewhere along the way I also had stopped making time consistently for prayer, study, and reflection.
My life had little ebb and flow, little grace. It was simply go-go-go.
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this by myself.
How I refocused
Reaching for new resources – books, people, space – I also dove into the Bible again as I sought to come alive from my own valley of dry bones (Ezekiel 37). Taking a long, hard look at myself, I realized that a lot in me had to change.
What I wanted most was true connection with God and with others, and to have my life reflect the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23).
I discovered it came down to taking care of me first.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Sleep more. Take a walk. Breathe. Pray. Listen. Pay attention.
Today, I call this self care. Then, I called it survival.
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this by myself.
Truly, I never could.
Question: How hard is it to make time and space for you? What’s your greatest struggle?
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